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BREAKING NEWS: Mayor Thomas Menino (Cyber-Menino) spotted in the Rose Kennedy Greenway

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Sourced from DALLE 2

Those of you living outside Allston who currently drive don’t need to panic—you WILL be forced to take mass transit to work, to or from shopping centers, or to pick up the kids. It is in your best interest to do so. Those who choose to drive can only drive to the nearest station. In other words, “The only highway that exists will be the Mass Pike.” – Cyber-Menino

November 1st, 2022

Boston, MA- Tourists along Boston’s renown Freedom Trail were treated to a once in a lifetime surprise today, when former mayor Thomas Menino materialized, as if birthed, in a eruption of sea water and sewage on Hanover St at around 1:13pm. Exiting his rat seasoned placental stew, Menino, (whose severed head floated in a jar attached to a swarthy and well toned young body), began screaming about monoliths and the annexation of New England by Allston “militants”.

After refusing to cooperate with Boston Police, Menino (dubbed by onlookers as Cyber-Menino) was escorted away from Hanover St in a squad car. Upon seeing Allston on Storrow Drive, Menino cried in agony.

“Look what you’ve done to Allston!” he wailed from the back seat of the cruiser. “The artwork! The revolutionary murals! It will never be the same!”

“I stand with the anemic!”

Cyber-Menino, November 1st 2022

Following a detour down Commonwealth Avenue, Mayor Menino’s demeanor shifted, with officers saying his prior sadness shifted toward a tangible rage.

“Oh… when is this? Fuck this city- the revolution will come in time! As long as [Bostonians] have to cross two lanes of traffic by going down two alleys and scaling a five foot tall brick wall, they can keep that shit!” Menino exclaimed.

Police confirmed that they are unsure how Menino came to be suspended in a liquid substance, as all known records point to his natural death by cancer. Menino is not the first former mayor to show up in this fashion. Former mayor Joseph Curtatone of Somerville showed up at Porter Square station in 2014, where he also reeked of sewage and sea water.

Though experts disagree on the meaning of Menino’s short lived cryptic ramblings, Menino repeatedly made reference to “Allston 3” and “Allston 4”, as if their absence in the city skyline was causing great distress.

Menino also went on to explain that he felt the Freedom Trail used to be far more pedestrian friendly, and voiced his support of pedestrians at large.

Whatever talk of revolution or urban renewal, one thing is for sure, if you see a skull floating in a jar in Boston, let it be!

This article was sourced from:

http://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2016/07/29/freedomtrailcybervisitor

http://www.bostonherald.com/news/local/article123553239

https://twitter.com/bostonjunior/status/75279869117993577

http://www.bostonmagazine.com/news/2015/04/09

http://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2016/07/07

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Statement of Intent

Where Toads Stack (not in love or rapport but total consummate reverence), October 13th, 2022–

As other serpents crawl upon their bellies, so can this; but he (manifested) has another method of moving peculiar to his own species, which he always adopts when he is in eager pursuit of his prey; he throws himself into a circle, running rapidly around, advancing like a hoop, with his tail arising and pointed forward in the circle, by which he is always in the ready position of striking1.

𓆕

‣ cites when compelled, never claims intellectual property, does not want to be heard

‣ collects,  interprets, distributes trash, politics, art, experience

‣ has access to hidden places and circulates amongst those who are hidden2

‣ exists, immaterial within the rattle and shriek of the North East


1] Excerpt “Tour in the U.S.A”, 1784, “Hoop Snake”, Wikipedia

2]  I CARRY INDUSTRIAL DUST AND LET IT SETTLE ON TREE LEAVES (Kurvitz, Hindpere)

Regional3, the wattle and daub of coastal enclaves, cordoned vacant lots sheltered by historical facade

𓆕

I have heard and echoed Boston’s cries for help. Up and down the Northeast Corridor4 manufactured transience and stagnation keeps the crowd fresh, the “selective internships” unpaid, the transit diurnal, and class invisible. 

I have seen the cultural foundation of this (precariously landfilled) megapolis gutted by “progress”. I have seen light bent and agendas cloaked in the surreal. 

I have seen the social contract broken, reinterpreted, stripped away. I have little faith in the American project, or the paranoia, masochism, and nationalism it promotes.

The Hoop Snake resides in the foul foam and algal bloom of (nonlinear, objective) history, and rejects the American concession to “prosperity” and “progress”. The Hoop Snake revels in the construction of metanarratives, hyperobjects, and


3]  Heard in the presence of violence, the potential energy of the Hell’s Kitchen yuppie, Kendall Square missile technician, (East) Williamsburg filmmaker, and Mid-Atlantic middle man

4] Ship of Theseus, local displacer, “future” delayer, promised bones stood too close to sick men

the humanist sublime. Postmodernism (irrevocably perverted for capital) and Neoliberalism are antithetical to this sublime. 

The Hoop Snake knows the sincerity of this world and that it is not too late to wreak havoc on the Middle Class5

𓆕

First Revolutionary Initiative:

Allston will be buried. The brave expatriates, defenders of this barren, rocky soil, tenants of the same multi-families they seek to entomb, will win. Allston 2, Allston 36, and Allston 4 will tower above the skyline of our Athenian city, brutalist monuments to revolutionary momentum and collective production . Its spire will stretch to the militia navies of New Haven or Lake Champlain, and to the guerillas of the Pioneer Valley and the ridges of The Great One. The Empire’s central nervous system will sever itself. 


5] Somewhere close, neighborhood kids slide down the husk of a Honda Pilot, keyed, stripped of parts, inscribed, in the midst of street vendors and old men playing dominoes– a glacial erratic, a Byzantine column, a knee high stone wall.

6] “Village of Allston 3” or “Allston 3”, serendipitously mirrors the locally dubbed “Allston 3” responsible for the siege of the Tennessee Gas Pipeline Company, forcing New England energy independence, and escalating tensions between federalists and expatriates.