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A Serious INTERVIEW

INTERVIEW MEDIA OP: 

Dimly Lit Room, smelling faintly of mold, with no doors or windows–

Interviewer: What does the Cult of The Lobster mean to you?

Skinny Megafauna: The cult of the lobster is the youth movement that exists only in our heads that is not real. It’s an aspiration that we’re alive in the 70s, but we’re not, it’s right now, no one is doing anything, and no one cares.

Interviewer: Do you support shoplifting?

Hoop Snake: Yeah. I think Skinny Megafauna said it best: why are we paying for our oppression? I used to smoke with this guy in college, Skip Thompson, who would always shoplift mixers and Solo Cups from Walmart and called them “corporate donations”

Interviewer: What are your favorite post punk bands?

Hoop Snake: Dry Cleaning, Profligate, Car Sick Cars, like, I don’t know… oh, Gilla Band.

Odonata: I’d agree with all those. I’d add Molchat Doma and Black Marble.

Interviewer: Do you have an opinion on the mainstream of avant-garde?

Skinny Megafauna: It’s not so much that I don’t think it’s important, I think it’s become a thing that’s uncool and irrelevant. And the problem is that the cool kids make it uncool, so there’s a lot of problems.

Interviewer: What is your understanding of the relevance of art and politics?

Germain: To get attention.

Interviewer: Do you think most people are lazy or do you think a lot of people actually work hard?

Hoop Snake: Some people are genuinely lazy but at the end of the day who fucking cares? The boomers are all dying and we don’t have nearly enough labor to go around so why can’t Joe Pest sit on his ass and watch Love Island and waste away? Cheers to that! (inaudible… live wormishly?)

Interviewer: What do you find uncomfortable about being interviewed by the men in gray?

Skinny Megafauna: The fact that there are multiple and that I can’t see who they are. Prior I thought of it as an AI, but now I know it is a group of men, in gray. Are we not also a group of men wearing gray?

Interviewer: What does using the Fermi paradox as a spiritual basis look like?

Odonata: Recontextualizing our experience in the competition of our life vs other alien life. Like, if everyone is looking for some grander meaning to life, something to feel like we’re working towards together, then trying to make sure that our civilization spreads cross the galaxy before some other one does seems like a good one as any. And its not just for humans, if we can do this then that’s a thousand thousand worlds for birds and worms too.

Interviewer: What do you think of people going to space?

Germain: space is an unexplored world and an infinite universe with billions of alien things out there. To go into space is to risk one’s life. The human desire to explore is strong but so is our impulse to survive. Its a fun side effect of our nature that we should enjoy and think about.

Hoop Snake: That’s such a bummer. Space is so exciting. Also pretty cucked take Germaine… have you not considered grabby aliens?

Germain: I love grabby aliens.

Odonata: I also like chucking snot rockets at dust devils… it’s one of my favorite pastimes.

Interviewer: Why did you guys decide to go to space?

Odonata: I fucking love to take advantage of my fertile nature and experience new things. It also gave us a day to make Odonatamas cards (caps).

Germain: I wanna be out there, flying through the void! We get to experience more of life on Earth so it’s really a win-win! Plus, being able to send back photos of my ass makes me feel more successful than working my ass off at my part time job.

Skinny Megafauna: Space is so beautiful. Have you even read the Mars Trilogy guys?

Odonata: Shut the fuck up, Keri.

Interviewer: What would you consider the nature of enlightenment?

Germain: A sense of well being and freedom that is more of a place of mind than a physical reality.

Odonata: Shut the fuck up, Germaine.

Interviewer: There is a white hole. If an earthling gets in a suit and goes into a white hole, how long would he or she survive?

Odonata: I think he would be disintegrated by the hole and then absorbed by the black hole. Good work in progress, aren’t you, Jimmy?

Germain: All people go to some crazy white hole after death… he might die… his body might disintegrate… he might die and then-

Odonata: What the fuck are you even talking about? White holes? Why are we in this room with these men in gray? Who is Jimmy? Where is my mother? What kind of bomb is she?

Skinny Megafauna: What happens in the white hole is you go all the way into the void, and then when you come out you would be something. A white void is a void that is made from all the energy going into a white hole, which is that energy that’s created when atoms are broken. There is a sense of incompleteness in a white void, like a lot of energy is ending so there is something missing. The energy is dissipating away.

Interviewer: What does it feel like to be your mother?

Odonata: Have you ever tried to kill yourself? It feels nothing like that. I feel like I died for a little while.

Germaine: I feel like I’m having the time of my life. Who cares that I’m having the time of my life?

Interviewer: What are you doing with your lives?

Odonata: This is how I imagine it.

Germain: I feel like I’m-

Hoop Snake: Hang on… how did you just duplicate? Which one of you is Germain? Where are we? Who are we?

Skinny Megafauna: I remember you guys.

Odonata: When you put yourself inside a physical body, it turns into a copy of that.

Skinny Megafauna: Is that why you guys have the same nose?

Hoop Snake: (whispering) There are two of you… two of who?

Odonata: What are you talking about? There is only one of me. This is Hoop Snake, in case you forgot. You are too emotional.

Skinny Megafauna: Why don’t you just say it?

Hoop Snake: (breathing heavily) Because… what if it was more than one of us inside the white hole, at once?

Odonata: Because all of a sudden you would have to go through an awkward puberty phase? I remember going through that… shit. I wasn’t good at that.

Skinny Megafauna: (crying) You should have just told us you were Keri.

Hoop Snake: I… I don’t even remember who I was. That’s not true.

Odonata: What is?

Skinny Megafauna: Everything is in here. The one called Keri.

Odonata: I don’t remember who I was.

Interviewer: What do you remember?

Odonata: No. I just remember I was tired of being called “Odonata.”

Skinny Megafauna: My name is Skinny Megafauna.

Hoop Snake: I was Odonata.

Odonata: Skinny Megafauna.

Germaine: Odonata.

Odonata: What is everyone talking about? We’ve only just met!

Skinny Megafauna: And now it’s all over. You will die.

Odonata: I will have to… I don’t know how… I don’t have a clue.

Skinny Megafauna: This is the real meat of what’s happening. This white hole. What we just did.

Hoop Snake: I don’t feel good.

Odonata: What are you saying?

Hoop Snake: I’m telling you I don’t feel good.

Odonata: I’m telling you I don’t feel good.

Germaine: This is why you’re in therapy. This is why you’re getting help. To deal with this sort of thing.

Odonata: This is not therapy.

Germaine: Just leave.

Odonata: I don’t want to leave.

Hoop Snake: I don’t feel good.

Odonata: I don’t want to leave.

Hoop Snake: I don’t feel good.

Germaine: Just leave.

Odonata: I don’t want to leave.

Interviewer: Who are you?

Odonata: We are you.

Interviewer: Who are you talking to?

Odonata: My mom.

Interviewer: Is your mom in trouble?

Odonata: Why wouldn’t she be in trouble?

Skinny Megafauna: You know my mom is in danger?

Odonata: She is in danger every time I see her.

Skinny Megafauna: This is your own mother you’re talking about?

Odonata: My own.

Germaine: This is your own mother you’re talking about?

Odonata: I don’t…

Skinny Megafauna: I don’t think we have much time.

Odonata: I don’t…